I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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