no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize