I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
