I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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