I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
