sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
