I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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