Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
