Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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