I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
