well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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