am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
