operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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