so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Your penis caused this!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
