Can Purell be used as lube?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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