I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
