Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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