I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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