I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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