I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
