Already got asked if we're dating
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
