No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
ttyl tear gas
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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