If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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