There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize