he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
