dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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