Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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