it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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