I looked at my own cervix.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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