I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
