the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
