i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
