I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
