so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize