She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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