what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
