Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Send help, water and tortillas.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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