God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
