I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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