I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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