Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
