theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
