Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
