Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
