I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
