You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
