Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
