You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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