How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize