I think i sorta joined a cult last night
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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