I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
