Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
