I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
