She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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