i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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