I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
