did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
