I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
