He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
