What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Randomize
