Christians are straight up FREAKS
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
