I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Floor bacon is actually really good
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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